Instructions: Please read all dialogue with a charming British accent

Last night, Ray friends, Niki and Jez, came to dinner. They arrived by Jean's Special Taxi Service at about 7:00, which is well after Ray's bedtime. Despite this, Ray roused himself from a sound sleep and greeted them at the door, absolutely ecstatic to see them. He grabbed Niki's wrist, then hands, then wrist again while Niki gushed over the excited dog. Niki turned away from the dog to greet Gregg.

"Why don't you do mine?" Jez asked Ray, offering him a wrist while Niki piled gifts into Gregg's hands.

Ray obliged, taking Jez's wrist in his mouth, chewing it a couple of times.

"Do you think it's a bone?" asked Jez. Ray stood for a minute, holding the beefy wrist in his mouth (Jez is about the size of a small mountain) trying to decide if he could take this one out in the backyard and bury it for later. He thought the better of it and let Jez go who was then able to shake hands with Gregg.

Ray wasn't finished with his greeting though. Obviously remembering the sweet kisses that he got from Niki the other day, Ray jumped up and planted one on her face, then tried to do the same to Jez but came up short. (Did I mention that he is the size of a small mountain).

I commanded my dog to flop, but now that he is an international superstar, he does things on his own time. Ray eventually flopped and was fawned over by his adoring fans.

Niki then unveiled a special treat that she had made for our blind dog.

"These are made with mushed up peas and carrots," she said, revealing a box of dog biscuits, one with Ray's name on it.

"Don't be too offended if he doesn't eat it," I replied, "Ray doesn't eat anything vegetal."

Ray, who of course LOVES to prove me wrong, ate it with relish.

"Could you send me the recipe," I asked, chagrined but not surprised.

Ray's special dog biscuit

(I find it ironic that the only photo that isn't blurry is the one where I cut off the head of our guest)

After another minute or two of belly rubs, Ray disappeared.

"Where's Ray?" asked Niki.

"He went over there," said Jez pointing into the family room. "Is that his couch? The one that was in the photo with the plastic draped over it?"

Ray was back in bed, curled up on his favorite pillow on his favorite couch.

"Yes," I replied, "that's it."(I thought briefly of charging admission for a tour of Ray's favorite sites - "Over here we have Ray's favorite couch. And out here is where he buries his bones. And this is Ray's favorite cat's bed. And here is where he carried a carton of eggs and ate them." - then shook off the image of me as tour guide to the stars and re-entered reality.)

After a quick cocktail and some scintillating conversation, we all retired to the dining room for a brilliant vegetarian meal (Ray's friends are vegetarians) prepared by Jean's Taxi Service with help from Gregg's Catering.

After the meal, I asked, "So, would you like to meet Ray's cats?"

An affirmative response took us all upstairs to the cat room. We were all making a fuss over our old lady, Moonie, (Hugo was outside) when all of a sudden Ray appeared and made a mad dash for the cat food dish. Jez snagged Ray's collar and dragged him away, then he (Jez) sat down on the floor to get some face time with the star.

We made plans for a hike the next day, called the taxi into service, and all retired for the night.