Friday, August 23, 2013

How to put a Harness on a Dog

Step 1. Place harness on floor in front of dog.
Step 2. Pick up dog's right foot and place it through right loop.
Step 3. Pick up dog's left foot and place it through left loop.
Step 4. Bend over to pick up harness and watch as dog lifts left foot and places it through right loop.
Step 5. Pick up dog's left foot and place it back through left loop.
Step 6. Bend over to pick up harness and watch as dog lifts left foot and places it through right loop again
Step 7. Pick up dog's left foot and place it through left loop.
Step 8. Bend over rapidly to pick up harness and watch as dog even more quickly lifts left foot and places it through right loop again
Step 9. Sigh deeply.
Step 10. Pick up entire front end of dog, place him exactly where you want him, and hurriedly pick up harness.
Step 11. Realize that the harness is on backwards.
Step 12. Swear.
Step 13. Repeat steps 1 and 10.
Step 14. Attempt to fasten clip at back and drop harness.
Step 15. Watch as dog lifts left foot and places it through right loop.
Step 16. Swear profusely.
Step 17. Repeat steps 1 and 10.
Step 18. Fasten clip at back.
Step 19. Decide that harnesses are more trouble than they are worth.


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7 comments:

  1. JezAugust 23, 2013 at 4:12 PM

    LOL tho' poor Ray having to put up with his Mom's potty mouth :0.

    ReplyDelete
  2. acd6packAugust 24, 2013 at 10:55 AM

    Hilarious and I didn't feel one bit guilty laughing because I have recently been (trying) to put a harness on blind and almost deaf Brook. I would have added a step #20: pour a cold beverage because you deserve it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ray the Blind DogAugust 24, 2013 at 3:14 PM

      hahahahahahahaha. But then Ray would never get walked...

      Delete
    2. Anne in FLAugust 25, 2013 at 11:43 AM

      That's when you shoo him out the Large-undisclosed-amount-of-money dog door project. ie: a walk = harness. no harness = trip thru the LUAOM DDP.
      I agree with acd6, # 20 should be Glass of wine (not whine, just wine) ;)

      Delete
  3. STELLA and RORY from Down UnderAugust 25, 2013 at 2:39 AM

    Howdy All, hehe, that was funny. Our harness for Rory just slips over his head and then clips around chest and legs without having to slip feet through anything. Thank goodness! But, being Rory, he just stands there while we do our thing. No worries, and love, Carol (and Stella and Rory)

    ReplyDelete
  4. TinaAugust 26, 2013 at 4:50 AM

    I agree with Anne - you deserved a drink after all that!

    ReplyDelete

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